It's not "gay"!

I am not a fan of the way the media spins things and sensationalizes things.  For example, the whole marriage issue and same-sex relationships.  I was reading People magazine (because we get it in the office, and I need to keep up with my celebrity gossip!), and there was an article about this country singer who recently got married to her girlfriend.  I can't tell you the name of the country singer, and I can't tell you the details of the wedding.  All I know is that the headline article was something like "A Country Singer's Gay Wedding." 

That bothers me.  It also bothered me whenever the media would talk about Dick Cheney's daughter when he was in the media.  Yahoo News I remember ran a story once where the headline was "Dick Cheney's gay daughter..."  That bothers me.

Let me first tackle the fact that it's not getting gay married.  It's getting married.  There is no such thing as a gay marriage, unless you consider the word "gay" to mean "happy."  If so, then I hope all marriages are gay marriages.

There is this great comedian by the name of Liz Feldman, and she has this comedy skit about gay marriage.  Basically, she adds the word "gay" to every action she does during the day.  Like she gets up, takes a gay shower, eats a gay breakfast, and goes to her gay work.  It's supposed to illustrate how ridiculous it is that people that marry people of similar sex are considered a different category.  And it does, it's pretty funny.  And she's a pretty funny lady.

Gay Marriage really is just marriage, plain and simple.  Don't break it off into another category.  Don't make it specialized; it doesn't need to be.  Also, the word "gay" isn't necessarily inclusive.  Seriously, if we HAVE to put a title to the action, let's call it similar-sex marriage.  And because that gets annoying to say a lot, people may just drop the "similar sex."  Haha.  Because not everyone that marries someone of similar sex considers themselves "gay."  What about people that consider themselves bisexual?  Or queer?  Or trans?  So the term "gay marriage" isn't even correct.

That being said, what really bothers me is the fact that we have to label marriage in such a way, and it doesn't normalize the action.  Of course people that identify as queer are going to feel ostrasized and out of the norm if we keep using terms like this!  If you are called the "gay daughter," or if you are getting "gay married," of course you are not going to feel normal.  Or even if you identify as gay or another term that fits under the LGBTQ umbrella, and you hear other people saying "that's so gay" in public, of course you are going to feel subordinate. 

This is wrong!  Until we as a public change our vocabulary and start saying "marriage," or referring to someone as a daughter, instead of using one little adjective, there is always going to be this special category for people, and it is not going to be normalized. 

If I want to go and get married to another person who happens to be a woman, I am not getting gay married.  I am getting a marriage.  A traditional, run of the mill, typical marriage.  There is nothing special about this marriage.  It will have trials and tribulations, and it will be exciting at times.  But there should be nothing to seperate it from other marriages, no matter who the people are or what biological sex the individuals are in it.

My main argument is that media sensationalizes things.  They need the quick headline that grabs attention, and they need juicy things to make people interested.  I get that, but they are also providing a very bad example for us as a society.  If the media prints and says things like this, the general public then will believe that it's fine to talk like that and say things of that nature.  When it's not ok, because it dehumanizes and disrespects a large group of people. 

Let's all just get along, ok?  Let's all just treat each other with respect and work to be inclusive to all.  One of the best ways to do that is to "normalize" (what is normal, right?) your vocabulary.  If you don't need to add an adjective to something, don't.  It's the same thing with race, for one example.  How many times have you heard, or even said yourself, "look at that black person," or something of a similar nature?  Why do you need the adjective?  Why do you need to sensationalize someone, based solely on who they are?  There is no need- I'm pretty sure you can point out a person or understand what a marriage is without having to break it down in a dehumanizing way.

As a society, we all have a responsibility to be inclusive and to respect each other.  You may not agree with same-sex relationships; I'm not asking you to.  I am just asking you to respect people enough so that you don't dehumanize them and place them in a different category than the general population.  I am asking you to work to see the person first, not certain characteristics about them.  I think each and every one of us has this responsibility, and if we as individuals start to change our language, the media will too.  So I challenge you all to do that; change the world.  It's easy enough to do.

And as a crazy cat lady, I feel that my cats could save the world.  Who doesn't want to open their hearts to everything after seeing the cuteness of this: