Kindness

Two weeks ago was World Kindness Day.  I was going to post something.  I even started the blog.  But then life got in the way and I lost track of what I wanted to say and my thoughts about things.  So I apologize.  I am working on reclaiming myself, and I will never be late with a holiday again.

That being said, World Kindness Day.  A day to remember to be kind to everyone.  A day to understand that little things can make all the difference.  I would like to believe that every day is World Kindness Day, not just one day out of the year.

I often forget that it's the little things that make the difference.  An entire day can be changed with a smile.  A hug goes a really long way.  Dropping a little personal note means the world to some people.  I have been going through some emotional times lately, and it has really made me notice what kindness really can do. Buying me a milkshake or giving me a hug really almost made me cry, I was so thankful.  These things show that people care.  People take 2 seconds out of their day to make me feel better, and I am forever grateful.

And it's not just when I am feeling bad.  If I am in the happiest mood in the world, a smile from a stranger or a kind word will mean the world to me then too.  And then I am more apt to share and "pay it forward," if you will.  I don't think I'm alone in these feelings.

One of the coolest people I have ever got the chance to meet is Paul, the "Ripples" guy.  Paul started The Ripples Project, which you can learn more about here:  www.theripplesproject.org.  Now, as a student affairs person, I love this.  It may be corny to some.  However, the main points of this project is that small, random acts can ripple down into more, bigger, and greater things.  Paul sends out a weekly email every Monday to help motivate growth and passion to people to get through their week.  There are zillions of quotes on his website, and he is a dynamic speaker.  Basically, the key point is that small things make a huge difference.

I feel this is true in life.  The small things make a huge difference.  And with that, you can make a huge difference with little effort at times.  World Kindness Day is a day that reminds me to make a difference.  Smile at a stranger, offer a kind word, give positive reinforcement, and be a pleasant person. It has everything to do with making the world a better place.  If we all treated each other better, think of how happy everyone would be. 

Additionally, acts of kindness make the giver happy too.  I am a forever watcher of the television show "Friends," and there is one episode that always sticks out in my mind.  In it, the character Phoebe is challenged to do one act of kindness that does not benefit her as well.  If you have seen the episode, you know that she fails.  Everything Phoebe does gives her a warm feeling inside too, or benefits her in some ways.  And there's nothing wrong with that!  Kindness isn't just a give. Kindness radiates from within, and warms not only the person or people it is directed to, but us as well.  I know, I know, that's pretty corny.  But it's so true. 

Here's my challenge.  I challenge each of you who read this blog (so all 6 of you) to do one random act of kindness today and see if you can continue it for a week.  Just a small, random act of kindness.  Nothing big.  Nothing out of the ordinary.  Just something small and random.  See what happens.  I am going to take the challenge too.  I need some positivity in my life right now, and I feel this challenge will be great for me.  And I feel it could be great for everyone.  So try it, what do you have to lose?

And finally, a picture of the sweetest little thing, that is always kind to me:

Lessons

Just a warning.  If you vomit when people tell cute stories about their children, turn away now.  Because I am about to tell a cute story.  And even worse, it's not about a human child.  It's about my cats.  Because what else would a cat lady talk about?  But I promise, if you don't gag too much within the story, there is a point.  And honestly, my cats are super smart and amazing anyway, so you should always want to hear stories about them.

First of all, let me say that I have 2 cats.  Albus is the oldest at 2, and Lilith just turned 1.  I got Lilith when she was 8 weeks old, and she still had a lot to learn.  She took to Albus like he was her parent, and he loved taking care of her and looking after her.  I think because she was so young, Lilith learned a lot about being a cat from Albus and me, which probably isn't the best, because Albus is far from a "normal" cat.  But it is adorable.

From the start, Lilith was really afraid of my hair dryer.  Most mornings, I would dry my hair after taking a shower, and Lilith would run away and hide.  However, during hair drying time, it had always been Albus and me time.  Albus would run to me, and with my free hand, I would always be petting him.  I think he also loved the warm air coming out of the hair dryer.  Lilith, being the follower of Albus, always cautiously watched.

One morning, Lilith was sitting there watching me dry my hair from about 10 feet away, when she tentatively started to inch her way closer.  Just a step, then sat back down.  One more step, and sat down again.  She didn't reach the dryer by the time I finished, but I noticed.

The next morning, the same thing.  Lilith sat and watched, and inched forward ever so slowly.  She got closer than last time, but still no touching.

This went on for awhile, until one day, Lilith got to the cord on the hair dryer.  She slowly stuck out one little grey paw, and softy touched the cord of the hair dryer.  The minute her paw made contact, she jumped back, terrified.  It was a hilarious sight, but she was determined.  She went up to the cord again, and reached out her little paw.  Again, the moment contact was made, she jumped back. 

I think you know where I am going with this story.  Finally, about a week after Lilith mustered up the courage to tackle her fear of the hair dryer, she was able to touch the cord without jumping.  I was so proud of her.

Yes, she is a cat.  Lilith probably doesn't have much concept of rational thinking.  However, Lilith saw something she was afraid of, and tentatively took small steps to overcome those fears.  Now, whenever I pull out my hair dryer, she is still a bit wary, but doesn't flinch and instead, comes over and tries to play.  And for that, I am so very proud of her.

This story makes me think that life is full of "hair dryers."  I have a lot of hair dryers, or fears and obstacles that I need to face.  I thought about this story because in roller derby, I am having a lot of trouble getting my turn around toe stops.  I have been working on these for a very long time, and even go to open skate and just turn around throughout the arena, trying to get comfortable with my turn arounds.  I'm currently at the point where I can turn around, pretty ok, as long as I am not too fast or not thinking too much.  Obviously this is my fear getting in the way of me being able to do a move in derby that I really need to master.  I'm afraid of falling down.  Just like when I first started derby, I was so afraid to fall.  When you start playing derby, they teach you the "right" way to fall, and so you are forced to do all kinds of knee falls and such.  I had such a fear of hurting myself by falling, I physically could not do it.  I finally had to stand on my bed and fall, just to get the feeling of allowing myself to do something completely unnatural.

My turn arounds are the same thing.  I have such a fear of falling and hurting myself, but I really have to get over it.  My turn arounds right now are my hair dryer.  They are super scary, but I need to be like Lilith and take small steps, slowly gaining my way into being comfortable with something that freaks me out.

There are other things in my life too that get me fearful.  My life has gone through some tough changes lately, and the changes will only continue as I take the next step in my life.  I have a job search coming up, and I have no clue where I am going to end up.  I have a lot of hair dryers in my way right now.  And it scares me a lot.

One thing I didn't mention in this story is that throughout Lilith's struggles with the hair dryer, Albus was by her side the entire time.  Now, Albus has issues with change too; they freak him out.  In fact, Albus was so stressed out by the change of Lilith coming to live with us, he got stress-related pancreatitis and had to have emergency surgery.  He almost died.  This is not to say that Albus doesn't adore Lilith; he does, he just has trouble dealing with change sometimes.  But that being said, Albus

It's important to have supporters in your life as you conquer your fears.  It's important to have someone that will help you celebrate the small victories, and the person that will hold you accountable for taking one more step along the way.  I have always been an independent person, and I pride myself in keeping myself accountable.  However, sometimes it's not enough.  Sometimes you need that extra push.  For my turn arounds, for example, if I didn't have an external source telling me I was getting better, I would probably not have the same drive to continue working on them.  In my life changes, if I didn't have supporters telling me that my one small steps were big deals, I might not see it that way and get discouraged.  I am very thankful for all of my "Albus's" out there, the ones that see my accomplishments for what they are.

I love my cats.  I have always loved cats, and I will continue to be a huge cat lady for my life.  It's funny how cats have given me so much in life, and are teaching me life lessons.  This blog isn't necessarily about changing the world, and it's not necessarily about the injustice people face in society, which are typically the subjects of my blogs.  But this blog talks about the personal fears within each of us.  I know I'm not the only one with a hair dryer.  I know I am not the only one reading this that has some fears they want to conquer.  My take away for you in this blog is to reflect on your own personal hair dryer.  What is it that you are fearful of? 

Acknowledge your own personal hair dryer, and then take one step at a time to overcome that fear.  That's all I am asking you.  To take one small step each day to overcome those fears you have.  It's a journey of personal growth, and I am going to take it right along with you.  And hopefully, soon, we all will be comfortable playing with the hair dryer cord.