Happy New Year, everyone. I typically don't consider New Year's to be a special celebration, and I have never made any New Year's resolutions. I always consider that to be weird; so often people start "new" with good intentions, and then it all just falls to the wayside. I don't want to be that person.
But this year was different for some reason. It might be because I was in a plane with faulty steering when 2012 ended and 2013 started. Or maybe it was because 2012 was probably one of the worst years, emotionally, that I have ever had. But something needs to change in my life, and hey, no time like the present. In my holiday break, I had a LOT of time to think and reflect over the year, and I realized that I need to start taking control of my life in all aspects, and not let other people have control over me or my emotions.
Therefore, I have created, not resolutions, but goals. And SMART goals at that- Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. To me, goals seem more real than resolutions.
Why am I telling you this? Well, here's the thing. I often have great ideas for change, and I tell myself all the time how this is going to be it. That I truly am going to do this, but I have trouble holding myself accountable. But research has shown that if you write down your goals, if you share your goals with other people, that you are more likely to achieve them. And I am looking for success here. So not only will I blog this, share it, but I am also printing out the goals and posting them in my apartment, as a constant reminder of what I need to do. It's a process, but I am hoping 2013 is the year of healing.
So without further adieu, my 2013 goals:
1. Run a 5K. I have always wanted to do this, and no time like the present, right? There was a time that I was running pretty consistently, and I felt amazing. I really did enjoy the experience, so I want to get back into it. And a 5K is pretty manageable. I will work to find one near the middle/end of the year, so that I have time to train and feel confident about it.
2. Be ok with being with myself. I have come to realize, especially in the past couple of months, that I depend on other people, and I can't always do that. The only person that I need to depend on is myself. I need to be ok with being alone, with being a productive person on my own. I will know that this is accomplished if I am able to sit at home, by myself, and not feel sad or upset. I plan to focus on the positives in my life, work on finding projects for myself that I find therapeutic, and become my own best friend.
3. Finish my teeth surgeries/implants. This is more of a concrete goal, but something I have been putting off for the past year. As a short explanation, I have teeth issues- I was born without 2 permanent teeth, which caused a lot of issues and shifting in my mouth. I had braces for 4 years, and now just need to purchase and get 2 tooth implants. Problem is, I don't really have the money for it and it is super expensive. However, I need to do it. It will make me feel better about myself and make me feel productive. So I will think creatively about money options, make appointments, and finish this up. It's time.
4. Weekly Gratitude. I am an introvert, and with that, comes my internal focus. This creates problems because sometimes it's hard for me to look outwards. And when I am focusing on being more positive in life, I sometimes ignore the positive and beautiful things around me. I have created a "weekly gratitude" goal, so that once a week I thank someone. Seems simple, right? I can do it verbally, with a note, or with an action. But this is going to allow me to reflect on my experiences and reflect on the positive parts of my life.
5. Take control of my life around my family. This one is hard to explain, and I know people don't often understand my family concerns or issues. Basically, I am not myself around my family, and I turn numb when I am with them so I don't have to feel. But I need to take control of myself, so I don't get into this phase of numbness, because it takes a long time to get out of that state of numb. So I am going to not allow them to make decisions for me. As an example, my mother bought me a plane ticket to visit Minnesota over this holiday break. She didn't consult with me. She just bought it, and set her own dates that didn't really work for me. I was planning to drive to save money. Next year, I am going to say no. I am going to drive if I want to, and if she still buys a plane ticket, I won't get on the plane. I will know that I have taken control of my own life around my family if I stick to my plans, even if it means making them upset.
Those are my goals. I think they are good, and will help me to be more focused, and hopefully work to heal my soul a bit, which is needed. So with a new year, doesn't necessarily mean comes a new me, but it does mean getting serious about being the best me. And that sounds pretty good to me.
Did you make any goals or resolutions for the new year?
