A few years ago, one of my work colleagues was telling a story about how she coordinated a Toys for Tots drive. She collected hundreds of toys from an event, and then apparently forgot to drop the toys off at the donation site. So she jumped out of bed early one morning, no time to shower, and apparently, as she described herself, wasn't looking too pretty. She was in old sweats, her hair a mess, and was wearing some old Ugg boots on her feet.
When this woman pulled into the donation site, one of the volunteers apparently looked at her and said "sorry ma'am, we don't open until noon today," or something to that effect. The point is, the volunteer mistook my colleague for someone that wanted to pick out toys for her family, instead of someone that was coming to make a donation.
My colleague, and most of my work friends, loved this story. It was repeated every holiday season, and I am sure it still is. Everyone thought it was funny that someone that really wasn't homeless could very easily be mistaken for someone that was homeless, based solely on looking disheveled.
Additionally, have you seen the story that went around social media sites, in which a pastor "transformed" himself into a homeless man? And people treated him completely differently?
Here's my issue with stories like this. You cannot assume class status or homelessness based on looks. How does one transform into homeless? My thought would be to actually sell your house and have nowhere to call home. But this is not what this pastor did. This pastor just dressed in "grungy" clothing.
I can tell you that not all homeless people, or not all people in the lower-economic class are grungy.
When I was in college, I wanted to be a news reporter. I spent a week in Minneapolis, doing a special feature for my college news channel about homelessness in the city. I interviewed a lot of people that actually were homeless, and I started to learn a lot more about what it meant to be homeless. Yes, I will fully acknowledge that some people in this situation did not have the best hygiene or the best clothes. But there also are reasons for that. When you don't have a constant place to live, where do you get a consistent shower, sink, or even hygiene items?
But that is not always the case. I also met people that were wearing clean clothing, professional clothes, and smelled clean. I met people that were struggling to find work, a home, and a safe place for their family, but still looked well put together.
Here's my thing. Never assume someone's situation or class status based on their looks. You will never know what their situation is, you will never know their circumstance. There is no look to someone that is homeless. Everyone looks different, everyone has a different experience.
I think this look of homelessness also begs a larger issue, in that we can be doing more to help people that do not have a place to live. In doing my research in Minneapolis, I was able to attend a meeting by the X Committee, who I hope is still in existence today. This group was started by folks that were homeless, as a way to speak up for themselves and try to make changes and help out other homeless individuals. In listening to their stories, my biggest take-away was how hard it was to find a job. Even if someone has a job, it might not be enough to support themselves. And it's hard to get a job when you can't look socially "presentable" during the interview. And you have to carry all of your personal belongings into the interview. The X Committee, when I was there, was working on renting out lockers to folks going on job interviews, just so they didn't have to carry their belongings into a work setting. This is one very small, but very big improvement that can be made.
There is still a huge social stigma with homelessness. Society judges people based on their appearance, and based on where they are in life. I cannot even begin to count how many times people have told me not to feel sorry for homeless people, because they put themselves into that situation. Regardless of whether that is true or not (and I would argue it hardly ever is), why does it matter? Social justice isn't about judging people for how they got there, it's about making sure everyone feels like a human being. And by the way society treats folks that are homeless, I don't believe we are doing a good job.
It's not about just giving people money if they need it. It's about hearing their stories. Looking people in the eye, regardless of their situation. It's about treating people with respect, regardless of what they look like or smell like. It's about not assuming a person's situation based on their looks, because that just perpetuates a much larger issue in society. It's about speaking up and fighting these thoughts.
So my challenge to in, in this blog post, is to think about what you are saying when it comes to folks being homeless. Do you judge based on their appearance? What does that mean? Have you ever joked around with your friends and said they look homeless based on their messy appearance? I challenge you to just stop and think, because you can never assume a person's situation until you actually ask them. So do it. If you have questions or assumptions, just ask.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
National Coming Out Day
Today, October 11, marks the 25th anniversary of National Coming Out Day. It's a "holiday" created by individuals to raise awareness and promote a safe space for people that identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or allies. From my reading of the history of the movement, it all started with a march in Washington to promote the rights of gay individuals, and has become a celebration of sorts from there on out.
That being said, I struggle with National Coming Out Day. Or maybe just coming out in general. Listen, I get it. I understand how important it is to come out. I understand how important it is to have visibility of LGBTQ individuals in the world, and I know how important it is to "normalize" being queer. I fight for all of that, and I truly and honestly believe it.
But. Here's my struggle. Some people cannot come out. I feel that there are times in the queer community where if someone is not "out" and "proud," they are shamed. And that sucks. Nobody should ever be pressured to come out, for many reasons. We don't know everyone's life and struggle. We don't understand where everyone is coming from. Maybe it's not safe for them to come out. Maybe that is not their priority at the moment.
Coming out is great. Visibility is great. I truly believe it is important and necessary to be out, to make being queer a natural part of society and life. I think we have made some great strides towards this recently, and it has been because people are coming out. I think coming out is great.
But I also hate the idea of coming out, because it sensationalizes something that shouldn't be sensationalized. Who cares if I am dating a man or a woman? Heterosexual individuals don't need to come out. So why do queer individuals? I dream of a world where a teenager can simply start dating someone without conversations or judgment, regardless of sex or gender. I completely understand that this is not the world we live in. And one of the only ways to live in this world is for more and more people to come out and make being queer a natural and normal thing in society. I get it.
So basically, I have no answers. All I know is that I am always a bit uncomfortable when National Coming Out Day comes around, because I know for some queer folks, this means pressure. It means serious debates and guilty feelings, and questioning your personal responsibility versus your personal safety. So here's my thought. Let's celebrate National Coming Out Day. Let's celebrate being queer and work on being visible. But let's also not shame people that can't come out. Let's provide a supportive and educational environment for ALL people, in whatever stage of life they are in. No judgment, no harm, no pressure. Just a day to celebrate queerness, be supportive of all people, and enjoy life.
That being said, I struggle with National Coming Out Day. Or maybe just coming out in general. Listen, I get it. I understand how important it is to come out. I understand how important it is to have visibility of LGBTQ individuals in the world, and I know how important it is to "normalize" being queer. I fight for all of that, and I truly and honestly believe it.
But. Here's my struggle. Some people cannot come out. I feel that there are times in the queer community where if someone is not "out" and "proud," they are shamed. And that sucks. Nobody should ever be pressured to come out, for many reasons. We don't know everyone's life and struggle. We don't understand where everyone is coming from. Maybe it's not safe for them to come out. Maybe that is not their priority at the moment.
Coming out is great. Visibility is great. I truly believe it is important and necessary to be out, to make being queer a natural part of society and life. I think we have made some great strides towards this recently, and it has been because people are coming out. I think coming out is great.
But I also hate the idea of coming out, because it sensationalizes something that shouldn't be sensationalized. Who cares if I am dating a man or a woman? Heterosexual individuals don't need to come out. So why do queer individuals? I dream of a world where a teenager can simply start dating someone without conversations or judgment, regardless of sex or gender. I completely understand that this is not the world we live in. And one of the only ways to live in this world is for more and more people to come out and make being queer a natural and normal thing in society. I get it.
So basically, I have no answers. All I know is that I am always a bit uncomfortable when National Coming Out Day comes around, because I know for some queer folks, this means pressure. It means serious debates and guilty feelings, and questioning your personal responsibility versus your personal safety. So here's my thought. Let's celebrate National Coming Out Day. Let's celebrate being queer and work on being visible. But let's also not shame people that can't come out. Let's provide a supportive and educational environment for ALL people, in whatever stage of life they are in. No judgment, no harm, no pressure. Just a day to celebrate queerness, be supportive of all people, and enjoy life.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Tigers Above, Tigers Below
Have you ever heard of that story, in which a person is hanging on a cliff, with only a branch to hold onto? There are tigers below, and tigers above. The person can't climb up, the tigers are chewing away at the branch, and it is inevitable the person will die regardless of which way they turn. But the person then sees an apple, and reaches to it, and starts to eat this delicious apple.
Even in my terrible storytelling paraphrasing, the point of this story is to enjoy the little moments in life. Death is inevitable; pain and heartache is inevitable. But if you focus on the small things, the little things that bring you happiness, it is easier to live in the moment and understand what life is all about.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately, in my quest for happiness. If you follow my blog at all, you know happiness is a concept I struggle with a lot. Lately it has been even more of a struggle, as my life has taken me on very unexpected journeys and unexpected twists and turns. I am trying hard to refocus and figure out what I want in my life, and with that comes a lot of soul searching.
This Tigers Above, Tigers Below story really speaks to me. One of the biggest things I have been trying to focus on is what makes me happy. Not for an entire day, not for an entire hour even. In each moment, what makes my soul soar? What is my apple?
And I am beginning to realize it is the little things. It's the way my cats drop their toy mice at my feet. It's the way my heart feels lighter when my roller skates hit the floor. It's the way sitting at a diner at midnight with my derby team makes me feel, laughing like a 12 year old kid. It's the way a warm mug of coffee feels against my hands in the morning. It's the feeling of a hot shower after a long and sweaty practice. It's how I feel when I execute a good move at a derby scrimmage.
I can't change the fact that there are tigers above me, and tigers below me. They will always be there. Sometimes they are me and my mind. There will always be those obstacles, those things that just plain suck. But what I can change is my perspective. I don't need to always focus on those tigers. I don't need to let them bother me. Because I can find something that makes me feel better. And I need to do it.
So here's my goal. In order to refocus my life and try to be a happier me, I am going to focus on my apples. Yes, there are always the tigers. A lot of tigers, lately. But you make the best of the situation. You focus on what you can control, you change your perspective, and you live in the moment. I had this "aha!" moment this evening. I was feeling pretty shitty about a lot of things, and I am incredibly stressed out at the moment. I was trying to clean my apartment when Albus, the sweetest cat in the world, dropped his toy mouse at my feet and looked up expectantly at me. His face was so proud, and it just made me laugh out loud. My heart instantly lightened.
It's things like that. I'm not going to ignore the bad. I'm not going to create a false sense of reality. But I am going to try to remember the good feelings, bring what makes me happy to myself, and change my perspective on things. It won't be easy, it takes practice to refocus from those tigers. But I am ready for the challenge, because I need it in life.
And to inspire you, if you would like, one of my favorite singers, Ellis Delaney, performing her song "Tigers Above, Tigers Below:"
Even in my terrible storytelling paraphrasing, the point of this story is to enjoy the little moments in life. Death is inevitable; pain and heartache is inevitable. But if you focus on the small things, the little things that bring you happiness, it is easier to live in the moment and understand what life is all about.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately, in my quest for happiness. If you follow my blog at all, you know happiness is a concept I struggle with a lot. Lately it has been even more of a struggle, as my life has taken me on very unexpected journeys and unexpected twists and turns. I am trying hard to refocus and figure out what I want in my life, and with that comes a lot of soul searching.
This Tigers Above, Tigers Below story really speaks to me. One of the biggest things I have been trying to focus on is what makes me happy. Not for an entire day, not for an entire hour even. In each moment, what makes my soul soar? What is my apple?
And I am beginning to realize it is the little things. It's the way my cats drop their toy mice at my feet. It's the way my heart feels lighter when my roller skates hit the floor. It's the way sitting at a diner at midnight with my derby team makes me feel, laughing like a 12 year old kid. It's the way a warm mug of coffee feels against my hands in the morning. It's the feeling of a hot shower after a long and sweaty practice. It's how I feel when I execute a good move at a derby scrimmage.
I can't change the fact that there are tigers above me, and tigers below me. They will always be there. Sometimes they are me and my mind. There will always be those obstacles, those things that just plain suck. But what I can change is my perspective. I don't need to always focus on those tigers. I don't need to let them bother me. Because I can find something that makes me feel better. And I need to do it.
So here's my goal. In order to refocus my life and try to be a happier me, I am going to focus on my apples. Yes, there are always the tigers. A lot of tigers, lately. But you make the best of the situation. You focus on what you can control, you change your perspective, and you live in the moment. I had this "aha!" moment this evening. I was feeling pretty shitty about a lot of things, and I am incredibly stressed out at the moment. I was trying to clean my apartment when Albus, the sweetest cat in the world, dropped his toy mouse at my feet and looked up expectantly at me. His face was so proud, and it just made me laugh out loud. My heart instantly lightened.
It's things like that. I'm not going to ignore the bad. I'm not going to create a false sense of reality. But I am going to try to remember the good feelings, bring what makes me happy to myself, and change my perspective on things. It won't be easy, it takes practice to refocus from those tigers. But I am ready for the challenge, because I need it in life.
And to inspire you, if you would like, one of my favorite singers, Ellis Delaney, performing her song "Tigers Above, Tigers Below:"
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
The jam of life
So, I got a new job recently. I up and moved at the end of January, accepted a new position that is a positive career change for me, and currently have been trying to settle into a new routine and a new home with my kitties.
Change is always an interesting thing, and with change comes challenges. Challenges that I haven't faced before, and challenges that knock me on my ass. Literally and figuratively. With the new job and a new home, I also transferred to a new roller derby league. I am not sure if you know this about me, but I basically prioritize my life like this: Work, cats, roller derby. Everything else fits in somehow, but the three things that matter the most to me are the three things I spend the most time at. So these changes basically changed my entire life around.
With these changes, the biggest difference is how out of my element I am at times. I specifically realized this today, as nothing seemed to go my way. I have been in a funk for a few weeks now, and this weekend I made a pledge to myself that I will choose happiness. I will look at the positives of things, and I won't let things get me down.
Well, today my pledge of happiness didn't go to far. It seemed like every time I tried to take a positive step, or every time I tried to do something, I got knocked down. And as I lay here at midnight on a rainy night, I am realizing that my funk will only get worse if I keep at this.
Tonight at roller derby practice, I felt out of my element. I always feel like I am a terrible player when I play with the A team; my new league is a complete challenge in every aspect of the sport. They are faster, more powerful, and more skilled than my previous league. I am not a very good derby player; I play because I love it, and I do push myself, but I understand that I have limitations as a person. Tonight was a mixed scrimmage night with the A team and the B team, and I have to say the opposing team was very heavily A team.
In my new league, everyone jams - again, out of my element. I have never really been a jammer, and I have never really called myself a jammer. My confidence as a jammer is zero, zilch, none. I shake every time someone hands me the star helmet cover. But tonight, I jammed. Against a very skilled team. It wasn't anything new, I had jammed before. But tonight was different.
I got knocked down every 2 seconds in the jam. I am not a skilled jammer, and I struggle to get around people that have more lateral movement than me. I don't react quick enough, so I spent the majority of my time as a jammer on the floor, after taking hit after hit by the opposing team. Needless to say, it was pretty demoralizing and I didn't jam at all after that.
My day outside of derby was a lot like that jam. I constantly felt like the target that kept being pushed down. And even though I vowed to be positive, sometimes you can only take so much. My day was demoralizing, then I went to derby practice, where I failed as well.
But here I am, realizing something. In roller derby, you focus on 2 minutes at a time. Each jam can last 2 minutes, but that's it. Then you get to start all over again, and things could be different. When I went out in the scrimmage after my jammer incident, I was a blocker, and I did a couple of good things. I also did a lot of terrible things, but each jam was something different and I was able to focus on that period of time, not what had happened in the past.
And I realized I need to live my life like that. Live in the moment. Don't focus on what happened in the past, because every day you get an opportunity to be different. Every day is a fresh start, and you just have to see that. What happened today, where I constantly got knocked down, doesn't need to happen tomorrow. Tomorrow could be the best day of my life- how will I know until I get there? Yes, these things I left and feel will still be there. But tomorrow there will be new challenges, new ideas, new thoughts. And who's to say that those challenges and thoughts will be the same? It's all in how I look at it.
If I learn something from being knocked down that I can use for the next jam in roller derby, it might be worth it to suck for 2 minutes. If I had a really shitty day, but the next day can learn from it and move on, let's do it. That's what roller derby, and life, is all about. It's about learning and bettering yourself, and not focusing on the past. It's about being the best you can be, in that moment.
So I vow, from here on out, to live every day like a jam. I get to start fresh tomorrow; what happens today is great, and I need to focus on it and be the best I can be today, but when the day is over, I need to move on. Learn the lessons, take the lessons with me and utilize them in the future, but don't dwell on the negatives. And who cares if I get lead jammer? If I do, that is awesome and I'll count that as a personal accomplishment. But if I don't, at least I got to play.
Change is always an interesting thing, and with change comes challenges. Challenges that I haven't faced before, and challenges that knock me on my ass. Literally and figuratively. With the new job and a new home, I also transferred to a new roller derby league. I am not sure if you know this about me, but I basically prioritize my life like this: Work, cats, roller derby. Everything else fits in somehow, but the three things that matter the most to me are the three things I spend the most time at. So these changes basically changed my entire life around.
With these changes, the biggest difference is how out of my element I am at times. I specifically realized this today, as nothing seemed to go my way. I have been in a funk for a few weeks now, and this weekend I made a pledge to myself that I will choose happiness. I will look at the positives of things, and I won't let things get me down.
Well, today my pledge of happiness didn't go to far. It seemed like every time I tried to take a positive step, or every time I tried to do something, I got knocked down. And as I lay here at midnight on a rainy night, I am realizing that my funk will only get worse if I keep at this.
Tonight at roller derby practice, I felt out of my element. I always feel like I am a terrible player when I play with the A team; my new league is a complete challenge in every aspect of the sport. They are faster, more powerful, and more skilled than my previous league. I am not a very good derby player; I play because I love it, and I do push myself, but I understand that I have limitations as a person. Tonight was a mixed scrimmage night with the A team and the B team, and I have to say the opposing team was very heavily A team.
In my new league, everyone jams - again, out of my element. I have never really been a jammer, and I have never really called myself a jammer. My confidence as a jammer is zero, zilch, none. I shake every time someone hands me the star helmet cover. But tonight, I jammed. Against a very skilled team. It wasn't anything new, I had jammed before. But tonight was different.
I got knocked down every 2 seconds in the jam. I am not a skilled jammer, and I struggle to get around people that have more lateral movement than me. I don't react quick enough, so I spent the majority of my time as a jammer on the floor, after taking hit after hit by the opposing team. Needless to say, it was pretty demoralizing and I didn't jam at all after that.
My day outside of derby was a lot like that jam. I constantly felt like the target that kept being pushed down. And even though I vowed to be positive, sometimes you can only take so much. My day was demoralizing, then I went to derby practice, where I failed as well.
But here I am, realizing something. In roller derby, you focus on 2 minutes at a time. Each jam can last 2 minutes, but that's it. Then you get to start all over again, and things could be different. When I went out in the scrimmage after my jammer incident, I was a blocker, and I did a couple of good things. I also did a lot of terrible things, but each jam was something different and I was able to focus on that period of time, not what had happened in the past.
And I realized I need to live my life like that. Live in the moment. Don't focus on what happened in the past, because every day you get an opportunity to be different. Every day is a fresh start, and you just have to see that. What happened today, where I constantly got knocked down, doesn't need to happen tomorrow. Tomorrow could be the best day of my life- how will I know until I get there? Yes, these things I left and feel will still be there. But tomorrow there will be new challenges, new ideas, new thoughts. And who's to say that those challenges and thoughts will be the same? It's all in how I look at it.
If I learn something from being knocked down that I can use for the next jam in roller derby, it might be worth it to suck for 2 minutes. If I had a really shitty day, but the next day can learn from it and move on, let's do it. That's what roller derby, and life, is all about. It's about learning and bettering yourself, and not focusing on the past. It's about being the best you can be, in that moment.
So I vow, from here on out, to live every day like a jam. I get to start fresh tomorrow; what happens today is great, and I need to focus on it and be the best I can be today, but when the day is over, I need to move on. Learn the lessons, take the lessons with me and utilize them in the future, but don't dwell on the negatives. And who cares if I get lead jammer? If I do, that is awesome and I'll count that as a personal accomplishment. But if I don't, at least I got to play.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Can a business change?
I'm conflicted, and I don't know what my opinion is on this. If a business has stated their opinion on an issue, can they change that? What do they need to do in order to "repent," or show they are genuine in their transition?
I got thinking about this today, when I saw Amazon's new commercial for their Kindle. If you haven't seen it, it basically has a male and a female by a pool. The female is reading a Kindle, the male is reading a tablet of some sort. He is having trouble because the sun is reflecting on the tablet, so the female is like "I have a Kindle," and basically it convinces the male to purchase a Kindle. The male then says he should buy the female a drink, for all her help. She says something to the effect of "no thanks, my husband is getting me something." And he goes, "oh mine too!" and it cuts to the bar by the pool, where two men have drinks in hand and wave at the male and female at the pool.
So this is a very casual, very innocent advertisement, that shows Amazon's support for same-sex relationships in a normalized way. Awesome, right? I love things like that. I am not sure how mainstream this commerical will go, but it's a great start.
But here's my confusion. A few years ago, I decided to stop supporting Amazon because they decided to list all of their LGBTQ material as "adult," thus not showing up in general searches on the site. This move, was to me, a blatant example of how this company wasn't supportive of same-sex relationships and individuals that identified as gay, and did not work to make homosexuality mainstream. In fact, it basically spread the message that homosexuality was to be hidden and wasn't safe for the mainstream.
I am conscious of my "economic vote," and so I decided not to purchase items from Amazon because of that. But then this happens. And I get confused.
The same thing happened with Toms shoes. The founder of Toms was slated to speak at a Focus on the Family event. If you are not aware, Focus on the Family is an organization that uses the Bible to attack homosexuality, and in my opinion, can be considered a hate group. The founder apparently backed out after there was some backlash about the situation. But it's sort of the same thing. Did the founder not care about supporting a proven discriminatory group until his business would be compromised?
Or Dr. Pepper. Remember those commercials where Dr. Pepper had so many flavors, it was only for men? But now it has changed its marketing to focus more on Dr. Pepper being for the unique people, which is all of us, apparently. Especially roller derby mothers, which I do appreciate roller derby being in the mainstream. But still.
I'm sure there are more examples of this, of businesses, or even people, making changes and changing their tune. And I'm torn on how to react to it.
On one hand, awesome for them for changing. I genuinely hope that these new changes are because they think supporting equality is the right thing to do. The educator in me is proud that they have grown, and hope that they have learned from their past actions.
But on the other hand, did they really learn from their past experiences? Or is this just a change in marketing based solely on the backlash the companies received from their past experiences? Can you ignore a company's history and support them, even when they burned you in the past? Or am I just holding a gruge that doesn't need to be held?
I think I can forgive, but not forget. I believe in growth and change, and I know that individual people can do it. In fact, I chose my career off of helping people grow and develop. So why can't larger companies and corporations? It just is an interesting concept to me, and I want to ask why. I want to sit down with the folks in charge of marketing, and understand what made the change happen, and help to understand why this shift in thinking happened.
So forgive. Yes, Dr. Pepper. I forgive you for being sexist. Amazon, I forgive you for considering me a second class citizen. Toms, I forgive you for potentially perpetuating hate. But I cannot forget, and while I will continue to buy Toms shoes, and I will start shopping at Amazon.com again, I will tread carefully. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
What are your thoughts? Do you think these changes in marketing and opinions are genuine?
I got thinking about this today, when I saw Amazon's new commercial for their Kindle. If you haven't seen it, it basically has a male and a female by a pool. The female is reading a Kindle, the male is reading a tablet of some sort. He is having trouble because the sun is reflecting on the tablet, so the female is like "I have a Kindle," and basically it convinces the male to purchase a Kindle. The male then says he should buy the female a drink, for all her help. She says something to the effect of "no thanks, my husband is getting me something." And he goes, "oh mine too!" and it cuts to the bar by the pool, where two men have drinks in hand and wave at the male and female at the pool.
So this is a very casual, very innocent advertisement, that shows Amazon's support for same-sex relationships in a normalized way. Awesome, right? I love things like that. I am not sure how mainstream this commerical will go, but it's a great start.
But here's my confusion. A few years ago, I decided to stop supporting Amazon because they decided to list all of their LGBTQ material as "adult," thus not showing up in general searches on the site. This move, was to me, a blatant example of how this company wasn't supportive of same-sex relationships and individuals that identified as gay, and did not work to make homosexuality mainstream. In fact, it basically spread the message that homosexuality was to be hidden and wasn't safe for the mainstream.
I am conscious of my "economic vote," and so I decided not to purchase items from Amazon because of that. But then this happens. And I get confused.
The same thing happened with Toms shoes. The founder of Toms was slated to speak at a Focus on the Family event. If you are not aware, Focus on the Family is an organization that uses the Bible to attack homosexuality, and in my opinion, can be considered a hate group. The founder apparently backed out after there was some backlash about the situation. But it's sort of the same thing. Did the founder not care about supporting a proven discriminatory group until his business would be compromised?
Or Dr. Pepper. Remember those commercials where Dr. Pepper had so many flavors, it was only for men? But now it has changed its marketing to focus more on Dr. Pepper being for the unique people, which is all of us, apparently. Especially roller derby mothers, which I do appreciate roller derby being in the mainstream. But still.
I'm sure there are more examples of this, of businesses, or even people, making changes and changing their tune. And I'm torn on how to react to it.
On one hand, awesome for them for changing. I genuinely hope that these new changes are because they think supporting equality is the right thing to do. The educator in me is proud that they have grown, and hope that they have learned from their past actions.
But on the other hand, did they really learn from their past experiences? Or is this just a change in marketing based solely on the backlash the companies received from their past experiences? Can you ignore a company's history and support them, even when they burned you in the past? Or am I just holding a gruge that doesn't need to be held?
I think I can forgive, but not forget. I believe in growth and change, and I know that individual people can do it. In fact, I chose my career off of helping people grow and develop. So why can't larger companies and corporations? It just is an interesting concept to me, and I want to ask why. I want to sit down with the folks in charge of marketing, and understand what made the change happen, and help to understand why this shift in thinking happened.
So forgive. Yes, Dr. Pepper. I forgive you for being sexist. Amazon, I forgive you for considering me a second class citizen. Toms, I forgive you for potentially perpetuating hate. But I cannot forget, and while I will continue to buy Toms shoes, and I will start shopping at Amazon.com again, I will tread carefully. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
What are your thoughts? Do you think these changes in marketing and opinions are genuine?
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
New year, new life?
Happy New Year, everyone. I typically don't consider New Year's to be a special celebration, and I have never made any New Year's resolutions. I always consider that to be weird; so often people start "new" with good intentions, and then it all just falls to the wayside. I don't want to be that person.
But this year was different for some reason. It might be because I was in a plane with faulty steering when 2012 ended and 2013 started. Or maybe it was because 2012 was probably one of the worst years, emotionally, that I have ever had. But something needs to change in my life, and hey, no time like the present. In my holiday break, I had a LOT of time to think and reflect over the year, and I realized that I need to start taking control of my life in all aspects, and not let other people have control over me or my emotions.
Therefore, I have created, not resolutions, but goals. And SMART goals at that- Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. To me, goals seem more real than resolutions.
Why am I telling you this? Well, here's the thing. I often have great ideas for change, and I tell myself all the time how this is going to be it. That I truly am going to do this, but I have trouble holding myself accountable. But research has shown that if you write down your goals, if you share your goals with other people, that you are more likely to achieve them. And I am looking for success here. So not only will I blog this, share it, but I am also printing out the goals and posting them in my apartment, as a constant reminder of what I need to do. It's a process, but I am hoping 2013 is the year of healing.
So without further adieu, my 2013 goals:
1. Run a 5K. I have always wanted to do this, and no time like the present, right? There was a time that I was running pretty consistently, and I felt amazing. I really did enjoy the experience, so I want to get back into it. And a 5K is pretty manageable. I will work to find one near the middle/end of the year, so that I have time to train and feel confident about it.
2. Be ok with being with myself. I have come to realize, especially in the past couple of months, that I depend on other people, and I can't always do that. The only person that I need to depend on is myself. I need to be ok with being alone, with being a productive person on my own. I will know that this is accomplished if I am able to sit at home, by myself, and not feel sad or upset. I plan to focus on the positives in my life, work on finding projects for myself that I find therapeutic, and become my own best friend.
3. Finish my teeth surgeries/implants. This is more of a concrete goal, but something I have been putting off for the past year. As a short explanation, I have teeth issues- I was born without 2 permanent teeth, which caused a lot of issues and shifting in my mouth. I had braces for 4 years, and now just need to purchase and get 2 tooth implants. Problem is, I don't really have the money for it and it is super expensive. However, I need to do it. It will make me feel better about myself and make me feel productive. So I will think creatively about money options, make appointments, and finish this up. It's time.
4. Weekly Gratitude. I am an introvert, and with that, comes my internal focus. This creates problems because sometimes it's hard for me to look outwards. And when I am focusing on being more positive in life, I sometimes ignore the positive and beautiful things around me. I have created a "weekly gratitude" goal, so that once a week I thank someone. Seems simple, right? I can do it verbally, with a note, or with an action. But this is going to allow me to reflect on my experiences and reflect on the positive parts of my life.
5. Take control of my life around my family. This one is hard to explain, and I know people don't often understand my family concerns or issues. Basically, I am not myself around my family, and I turn numb when I am with them so I don't have to feel. But I need to take control of myself, so I don't get into this phase of numbness, because it takes a long time to get out of that state of numb. So I am going to not allow them to make decisions for me. As an example, my mother bought me a plane ticket to visit Minnesota over this holiday break. She didn't consult with me. She just bought it, and set her own dates that didn't really work for me. I was planning to drive to save money. Next year, I am going to say no. I am going to drive if I want to, and if she still buys a plane ticket, I won't get on the plane. I will know that I have taken control of my own life around my family if I stick to my plans, even if it means making them upset.
Those are my goals. I think they are good, and will help me to be more focused, and hopefully work to heal my soul a bit, which is needed. So with a new year, doesn't necessarily mean comes a new me, but it does mean getting serious about being the best me. And that sounds pretty good to me.
Did you make any goals or resolutions for the new year?
But this year was different for some reason. It might be because I was in a plane with faulty steering when 2012 ended and 2013 started. Or maybe it was because 2012 was probably one of the worst years, emotionally, that I have ever had. But something needs to change in my life, and hey, no time like the present. In my holiday break, I had a LOT of time to think and reflect over the year, and I realized that I need to start taking control of my life in all aspects, and not let other people have control over me or my emotions.
Therefore, I have created, not resolutions, but goals. And SMART goals at that- Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. To me, goals seem more real than resolutions.
Why am I telling you this? Well, here's the thing. I often have great ideas for change, and I tell myself all the time how this is going to be it. That I truly am going to do this, but I have trouble holding myself accountable. But research has shown that if you write down your goals, if you share your goals with other people, that you are more likely to achieve them. And I am looking for success here. So not only will I blog this, share it, but I am also printing out the goals and posting them in my apartment, as a constant reminder of what I need to do. It's a process, but I am hoping 2013 is the year of healing.
So without further adieu, my 2013 goals:
1. Run a 5K. I have always wanted to do this, and no time like the present, right? There was a time that I was running pretty consistently, and I felt amazing. I really did enjoy the experience, so I want to get back into it. And a 5K is pretty manageable. I will work to find one near the middle/end of the year, so that I have time to train and feel confident about it.
2. Be ok with being with myself. I have come to realize, especially in the past couple of months, that I depend on other people, and I can't always do that. The only person that I need to depend on is myself. I need to be ok with being alone, with being a productive person on my own. I will know that this is accomplished if I am able to sit at home, by myself, and not feel sad or upset. I plan to focus on the positives in my life, work on finding projects for myself that I find therapeutic, and become my own best friend.
3. Finish my teeth surgeries/implants. This is more of a concrete goal, but something I have been putting off for the past year. As a short explanation, I have teeth issues- I was born without 2 permanent teeth, which caused a lot of issues and shifting in my mouth. I had braces for 4 years, and now just need to purchase and get 2 tooth implants. Problem is, I don't really have the money for it and it is super expensive. However, I need to do it. It will make me feel better about myself and make me feel productive. So I will think creatively about money options, make appointments, and finish this up. It's time.
4. Weekly Gratitude. I am an introvert, and with that, comes my internal focus. This creates problems because sometimes it's hard for me to look outwards. And when I am focusing on being more positive in life, I sometimes ignore the positive and beautiful things around me. I have created a "weekly gratitude" goal, so that once a week I thank someone. Seems simple, right? I can do it verbally, with a note, or with an action. But this is going to allow me to reflect on my experiences and reflect on the positive parts of my life.
5. Take control of my life around my family. This one is hard to explain, and I know people don't often understand my family concerns or issues. Basically, I am not myself around my family, and I turn numb when I am with them so I don't have to feel. But I need to take control of myself, so I don't get into this phase of numbness, because it takes a long time to get out of that state of numb. So I am going to not allow them to make decisions for me. As an example, my mother bought me a plane ticket to visit Minnesota over this holiday break. She didn't consult with me. She just bought it, and set her own dates that didn't really work for me. I was planning to drive to save money. Next year, I am going to say no. I am going to drive if I want to, and if she still buys a plane ticket, I won't get on the plane. I will know that I have taken control of my own life around my family if I stick to my plans, even if it means making them upset.
Those are my goals. I think they are good, and will help me to be more focused, and hopefully work to heal my soul a bit, which is needed. So with a new year, doesn't necessarily mean comes a new me, but it does mean getting serious about being the best me. And that sounds pretty good to me.
Did you make any goals or resolutions for the new year?
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