"Normal"

One of the worlds I really hate is "normal."  I know I have used it in the past, to say that we all need to normalize same-sex relationships, normalize breaking gender norms, etc.  But I also think that the word "normal" can do a lot of harm. 

My favorite scene from a great movie:

I may be biased with this movie because it was filmed in my hometown and I have a brief cameo in the movie, but here's my point.  This scene speaks to exactly what I feel.  There is no normal.

The concept of normal is something that is regular, accepted, something everyone should strive to be.  Alas, I don't believe anyone should strive to be anything other than themselves.  As Angus says, we are all different.  Nobody is the same, therefore, there can be no normal. 

I play roller derby, as I may have mentioned before.  A couple of months ago, my mom and dad visited me from across the country to watch me play in a bout.  Now, my parents and I don't have the best relationship, and they tend to ignore a lot of who I am as a person.  But I was sort of excited to get their take on my passion in life.  But I wish it had never happened.  My mother was excited to attend, and apparently had been looking up my team online and getting information from there.  She called me a couple of days before their trip, and said something to the extent of "I saw the group picture of your team on the website, and what a bunch of freaks. Nobody looks normal."  I questioned her about what normal meant, and she was silent.

Then the visit came, and after the bout, I was getting my parent's responses to roller derby.  Again, in typical mom fashion, she replied "there aren't a lot of normal people that play roller derby, are there?"

Again I asked, what is normal?  She had no response for me except "not that."  So apparently I am a freak of nature.  Which made me feel oh so good.

Here's the thing.  When you say something is "normal" or we innately normalize something in our society, we are creating a dichotomy of us vs. them.  And that creates exclusion, it creates oppression, it creates otherness.  It creates problems. 

There is no normal.  There is no "new" normal, there is no "old" normal.  We need to start checking ourselves and our vocabulary, because by saying these words and by thinking there is a "normal," we are only creating oppression and otherness.  Normal is a terrible word to say to describe something or someone.  I understand there are ways to say it, and necessary times to say something is the norm, but be aware of when you say it.  Be aware of how you say it, and be aware of what you are calling normal.

Because there might be some people out there that are not freaks of nature, but still want to feel like a whole person.